Although I went to a private Catholic school growing up, my family did not practice many of the observances required by the religiously faithful. My dad was truly more of an agnostic and my mom, certainly a believer in her own personal and beautiful way. Spirituality was truly what was most important to my parents. Growing up we were taught how to be respectful, kind to others, honest and wise. Philosophy and metaphysics were subjects of great interest to both mom and dad. The religious teachings were left for us to learn at school. Only the sacraments or Catholic rights of passage were family affairs.
My favorite book growing up was The Prophet by Khalil Gibran. I found in its pages a true resonance with my inner being. The Bible seemed full of contradictions. I did like the psalms and many other passages but I could not relate full heartedly with its pages. My family did not feel a resonance with the Bible either. Some of the teachers in school, particularly the ones dedicated to teaching religion were very fear based. We were taught a great deal about sins, how we are sinners and the threat of hell. God was made to be a bit scary, easy to punish you for any disobedience. I do not recall any teachings about love. We were taught a lot about love and the importance of family at home. Our family was always very close, and family visits from overseas or our trips overseas to see family were always very anticipated and exciting.
I enjoyed reading many different things and I liked poetry and philosophy. I came across the inspirational story called “Footprints in the Sand”. I posted it on my bedroom mirror wall by my reading chair and lamp. I loved the story, it meant a lot the first time I read it, and for some time I did not read it yet it was always there.
Although everything in my life was normal, and better than probably the majority of humans my age at that time, I struggled emotionally. I entered a dark period in my early teens where I felt alone and depressed. I did not show it. I thought of suicide daily. I had a deep existencial crisis. I did not understand the purpose of life, the meaning of life. It all felt truly senseless. I felt hopeless. Feeling hopeless was my bottom and I hit rock bottom. I came back into my room after contemplating how to jump off the roof, and I sat in my reading chair. I was in a state of despair. It was then when I felt a loving presence. Somehow I knew it was Jesus Christ. Behind me was the story I had posted ” Footprints in the Sand”. I read it again after many months. I started to cry and cry. I felt myself in Jesus’ arms. After that moment, I never again felt any desire to end my life. In a strange and miraculous way, my heart was healed. When I watched the movies of Jesus of Nazareth’s life during Holy Week before Easter every year, I loved his teachings. I understood them in my heart and soul. The scenes about his death in the cross, tore my heart. I could hardly watch, the pain I felt was so emotionally intense. For many years I did not like to see the cross. It was to me a symbol of deep unfairness and sadness.
In my late teens, early twenties I discovered the work of Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, a well known Christian pastor. He had written The Power of Positive Thinking. I loved his work and it resonated deeply in my heart then. My relationship with Jesus Christ was a deep honoring unconditionally loving friendship. For some time I enjoyed reading the St James version of the Bible and the teachings of Jesus Christ in the New Testament.
In the late nineties I became a student of the Course in Miracles and that reading completely changed my life. I finally understood the deeper meaning of my existence. It was at the same time that I completed my Reiki training. My formal spiritual studies and formation began. I studied yoga and received endless and priceless mentorship from Shanti Ragyi, the author of Yoga en Cristo. I connected deeply with the Christ Consciousness. I knew that my purpose in life was simply to assist and support others in remembering who and what they are. My teachings came from my learning and living in the Christ Consciousness of unconditional love. My yoga studies, spiritual healing modalities, my formal consistent practice and my personal relationship with Christ became my North. Jesus the Christ became not only my friend but my mentor, my Spiritual Guide. I did not connect with Jesus Christ through traditional religion. He is so much more alive in my daily life! He is my partner, my friend, my mentor and my inspiration on how to live and navigate this interesting human incarnation. I feel deeply blessed by his love and constant companionship and presence.
I do not normally mention him in casual conversation for our relationship is so very personal and loving that I would never wish to come across as a religious advocate or be misinterpreted as an evangelist, for I am not. I believe in free will. I know that Jesus the Christ finds you when you are ready and when that happens your life is blessed. If at any point a person seeks Jesus the Christ with true sincerity in the heart, He will always also be there to be found and bless. It is not for me to say when a person is ready or impose any “should” on others. I am still growing and learning, teaching by example the best I know how. I also know that like Jesus the Christ there are other prophets and guides that may be better suited for a person at any given time during their life. Jesus the Christ is whom I feel in my heart.
For the first time in my life, I am wearing a cross dad gifted me over 30 years ago. After many years, I now understand the true meaning of Jesus on the Cross. It is a message of complete surrender in faith to divine will, to the Light. The full trust that we are guided and protected. The promise of a new life as we trust divine order and divine will even in the midst of despair, when things may seem truly sad and unfair. Wearing it I can feel the blessing of protection. The protection comes not from the cross as an amulet but rather from the true understanding of the significance of faith in the light and love of God. For in God All things are Possible. It is the ultimate liberation from the human ego. As we trust in the light, we give power to the light. We claim our truth. We dispel all darkness. And so it is.
In the name of Jesus the Christ, blessings. Amen.
Blessings to all… I hope that my relationship with Jesus the Christ will inspire you to seek and/ or deepen yours. Namaste.